At Art of Brill, we often talk about life being a contact sport. It can punch hard, and low!
And when it does (which, be warned, it will!), the oft-repeated mantra, ‘It’s okay NOT to be okay’ is anything but a cliché. It’s 100% true!
I speak with authority because I can safely say that the last six months have been the worst of my life.
I won’t go into too many details, you will have your own life situations to deal with, but I wanted to share my recent journey and how I have (and currently am) helping myself through it. Especially compared to the ‘old’ version of me.
In the last twelve months, both of my parents have had cancer diagnoses and have undergone different treatments and procedures as a result. Just before Christmas, my mum had a reaction to her treatment which triggered a very rare autoimmune condition where she literally lost all mobility. The current situation is still very uncertain for both.
(Maybe I should have warned you upfront, this blog is a laugh-free zone?)
But the reason I wanted to share all my recent traumas is to highlight how important it is to keep looking after ourselves, to properly build up ‘resilience’ and ‘wellbeing’. I know both these words seem overused, but Art of Brill has been in the wellbeing game since before wellbeing was even a word. I know because I came across it fourteen years ago, and it’s been my career for thirteen.
Because of this, and the work I have done on myself, I’m able to think back to how I would have coped fifteen years ago. That previous version of me, if the same set of circumstances had arisen then, would have sunk without a trace.
Back then, I was low on positivity and resilience and high on stress, impatience and irritability. The smallest things would fry my brain: having to carry out a small DIY job, rushing to take one of my kids to football, Christmas shopping, driving to work, running out of milk…
You get the idea!
So a BIG thing would have tipped me right over the edge.
The Art of Brilliance message is not superficial. Mental health isn’t about eradicating bad days or even a dire six months. It’s about knowing you have a way of getting through it. I describe it in my sessions as ‘tools in the wellbeing toolbox’. These are the things which, if we consciously work on them, fill our resilience reservoir.
So, yes, I have had plenty of times in the last few months where my emotions were all over the place. I’ve been upset, angry, exhausted and full of self-pity – but the one thing I knew, deep down, was that I had the ability to get through it.
I made sure I spent even more time (when I could) resting and practising the tools which work for me, alongside appreciating the support I had from my family.
Our day in day out ‘normal’ lives are hard enough, let alone when things come and swipe you from the sidelines.
Final word. Sure, when push comes to shove, other people will look after you, but it’s much better if you can take really good care of yourself. Oh, and I’ll go one step further – self-care is the least selfish thing you will ever do.